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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Miner Loses Pickaxe, Tries To Mine With Hands: "It's on a timer, I can't help it!" |  Suspicious Namazu Spotted Near Costa del Sol, Authorities Advise |  Rocks: Can We Trust Them?                                                                                                                   
This Issue About Us
Welcome to the 28th Issue of The Babbler, your #1 source for random Eorzea news and original reporting!

The Babbler Issue 28

Originally published May 29, 2024

It's been one of the busiest weeks ever, Eorzea, and it's about to get even busier over here! Between crafting, gathering, and getting ready for our One Year Anniversary over at Nophica's Spring, it's been hard to keep up! But here we are, at Issue 28 of The Babbler!

This week, we have a new Housing Highlight for you, along with a few fun pictures from my time out gathering. Be sure to check out this week's new Hats, too!

We also have a fun graphic highlighting the road that brought us here! It's been an amazing journey that's both lasted forever and totally flew by! How does that work?

We hope you enjoy this issue, and thank you for reading!


Weekly

NewsBits

Stories from Around Eorzea
Venue Owner Offers 500,000 Gil Free to Every Visitor

Money for nothing. Venue-goers were shocked this weekend to find out that a brand new establishment in The Goblet was offering a free 500,000 gil reward to anyone who simply walked through its doors. Happy to take the owner up on his offer, patrons swarmed into the Oily Fish Cafe & Grill, the only Eorzean cafe serving Ground Fish Coffee. However, the owner, Mi'forho Lula, admits he's less than pleased with retention. "It's like they came in, danced around a little, then left" he told The Babbler, "No one even ordered a coffee! I'm out of gil!" When asked why he thought bribing people simply to visit his venue was a good idea, he replied, "I thought that's what a giveaway was?"

Will This Hero Save Eorzea?

"He does look pretty heroic!" A mysterious new adventurer has Limsa Lominsa abuzz with speculation this week, as many wonder if he'll be the one to actually and truly save the world. "I think he could be the one!" said one Roegadyn culinarian under the condition of anonymity, "He definitely looks like he means business. All those other 'venturers, I mean yeah they've done a lot, but our conditions here haven't exactly improved any for it, as you can see." Others aren't convinced. "I'm not sure," said a Lalafellin waiter at the Drowning Wench, "That armor looks awfully chunky." The hero, known only as J'im, arrived to Limsa over the weekend aboard a ferry of unknown origin. He has yet to make a comment.

Summer Festival Promises Night Elf Gambling Auction Maze Inside A Photobooth

"Yeah we don't know, either." A new collaborative event involving 83 venues across all three city-states, and at least one in Shirogane, has left some Eorzeans perplexed. The event, which began promotion several months ago, claims to offer exciting new games, prizes, and the world's very first Silent Auction Gamble Maze Photobooth. "How are they going to fit all of that inside of a single photobooth?" Liommianne Jorieu recently questioned in her editor's letter for the quaterly Ishgardian venue trade magazine Venue Digest Monthly [Note: Despite changing its publication schedule, the magazine never did update its name]. "We're reaching an ever-accelerating arms race of venue shenanigans," she wrote, "and frankly I will have none of it!"

Oswold the Healer Continues World Record Speech Attempt

A lecture to remember. Oswold, a well-known healer in Gridania and renowned member of the Conjuror's Guild, is continuing his attempt at breaking the Hydaelyn World Record for longest speech ever given, despite increasingly inclement weather. Many listeners have also decided to stay through the storm. The Babbler managed to have at least one field reporter at the scene over the weekend. "With my gift of hearing, I guide the citizens of Gridania according to the will of the elementals!" Oswold reportedly said at one point, "Such is the part I play in ensuring that harmony ever reigns in the Twelveswood!" While the feat of speaking for nearly a decade now is quite impressive, critics believe Oswold may in fact be a little full of himself.


Community Watch

What Is Even Going On


Fresh Links

Monday Maintenance Finished!: At least it was early!


Adventurer Collects Every Old Materia: But why?


Nophica's Spring One Year Anniversary May 31, 2023: Be There Or Make Us Sad!


"I'm Missing My Legs, Please Help!": Adventurer's legs mysteriously vanish after trying on new leggings!

Issue 27 Poll Results

For our first multiple choice poll ever, we asked you what your favorite activities are! And would you believe it, Babbler readers, we have a tie for first and it's between...raiding and venue hopping? Both received a solid 22%! We were not expecting that!

Coming in third was "Just kinda standing around" with 19%, while crafting and roulettes each received 16% of the vote. Gathering managed to chop out a meager 5%.

And most shocking of all, PVP received a total of zero votes. We're sorry, PVP. Maybe everyone's just sad about what they did to that ice map!

Furniture Highlight: Botanist's Worktable

Yu-Gi-Oh...Even More?

We're still playing Yu-Gi-Oh, though our space adventures have taken up some time. I'm working on a vampire deck, and honestly I'm pretty terrible at it!

Weekly Vista: Buscarron's Druthers

Join the official Babbler Discord to keep updated on new releases and events, or follow us on X!

Housing Highlight: Everybody Was Kung Fu Fighting!


Eorzea Fast Facts

Fast Fashion: What's Old Is New!

by Babbit Alaisa

If you managed to get this year's Valentione Emissary's set during February's Valentione's celebration, be sure to head over to your local Recompense Officer (there's one near Mih Khetto's Amphitheatre in Old Gridania!). Both sets are now gender neutral and can be worn by everyone, so have a look and pick up the pieces you didn't get last time around!

And no, Viera still can't wear those fancy hats! Just punch some holes through, would you?


One Year Anniversary

Nophica's Spring Anniversary Facts!


Housing Highlight

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting!

by Lopp Yasaburo

Sargantas | Mist | Ward 4 | Plot 29

Housing is such a hassle sometimes! It can take a lot of thought to come to an overall design choice. Do you want a home for yourself? Something private to retreat to when the world is to big? Or maybe you want to bring people in, run a shop or a cafe, a hangout spot where people can go to socialize? Or maybe you want to do something else entirely!

This week, I got to see a design that captured my attention pretty quickly. At first, I was not really sure why, exactly. In fact, I went in not knowing what to expect. After looking around, I kept thinking it is a nice spot, but something felt different about it.

A lot of people fancy themselves "model" home designers and they can pull off some impressive feats, using items in unusual ways to recreate something that might not be a housing option otherwise. I am sure if you have looked around homes made like this, you have seen your fair share of flatscreen TVs. They are exciting pieces to be sure, but often these homes feel so... sterile. Like walking into the advertisement photos for a hotel room. They are pretty, but it can be hard to get passed the feeling they are for show.

One of my favorite genres of videos to watch is people building miniature dioramas, usually using materials they have painstakingly created themselves with cardboard, resin, and tiny prints to add some detail. The ones I like the best are the ones set up to look like a still frame in time, actions happening, maybe some books scattered about. I have heard people call this a "Ghibli Aesthetic" and if you have seen those works, you probably can understand. The feeling of clutter, things not being EXACTLY perfect, it can add a ton of personality. And that is what this home felt like to me. It was, indeed, a model home, but one with that sense of capturing life in action. So enough rambling, let's take a look!

The Ashitaka Dojo is a place that, I have been told, is designed to accommodate roleplayers. In keeping with that theme, every room is built to work in the same relative style, though each with a distinct purpose. The entry room is filled with scrolls and adornments, perhaps to show off some of the grandeur of the Dojo to new initiates.

Heading down, we find a large arena, perfect for martial training in large groups. This room is somewhat sparse and clean, which makes sense as it is a place to be respectful. But do not let the idea of "sparse" fool you, it is by no means lacking. Rather, the few items in the room all act in tandem to serve the needs of the theme.

The first off-shoot room is one of my favorites. It is a clinic, where fighters can recuperate after bouts and maybe get other injuries looked at. Shelves filled with bottles really sell the feeling. Any tincture, elixir, tonic, potion, all at most a few steps away. Chirurgeon's curtains let patients suffer treatment without showing off their cuts and scrapes to those coming in.

Next is the Sleeping Quarters, a room that wisely uses separate levels to differentiate. The entrance opens to three paths, a looping ground-level hall that leads to baths and showers, and a lofted area for sleeping mats. While cramped together, the beds convincingly give away the idea that students here are meant to live together to form stronger bonds as they master their skills.

However, everyone does need a space to prepare without prying eyes and to provide such a space, we move into the Dressing Room. Two separate areas with shelves and lockers act as a spot to change into the uniform of the Dojo while keeping a sense of solitude in such a busy environment.

And what would a live-in school be without a Cafeteria? This particular one has a great deal of options, with two serving stalls as well as a full kitchen and fire to grill up, perhaps, so fresh caught trout. Yummy!

The Kyudo Dojo is another room dedicated to training, though, unlike the main Dojo, this is dedicated to target practice. Several stalls house targets that range in difficulty so students can master ranged combat as well.

Moving on, we find the Indoor Garden. While nature has been a part of the place in every room thus far, none were as dedicated to it as this is. A spot to relax and breathe, taking in the sounds of running water, the scents of the various flowers. It is a peaceful place.

And then, as though a juxtaposed placement, we come into the Forge, dedicated to the creation and repair of weapons and clothing for students. With all these offerings, a student could attain mastery without ever having to leave!

Finally, we come to the Shrine, a place to reflect in solemn contemplation as one honors the ancestors or deities they hold in reverence.

Much like the last house we visited, this is one that has picked an idea and followed through with it in every inch of the creative space. Each room is separate and unique but retains the overarching identity the designer wished for it. It is a marvelous Dojo where one could lose oneself with ease.

More than that, though, the attention to detail really makes a difference in this place. Each room is packed with objects, trinkets, you name it, and yet no space feels cluttered or, for lack of a better word, gross. It is not a mess, it is instead the makings of a place that is used. The sense that it could look like this on any day gives it a sense of life that can sadly be absent in some spots. Clean is not necessarily a bad thing, but if you find yourself feeling a little bored, maybe try leaving some things out. Show off your personality not just with your actions but with the wake of your presence. THAT is the difference between a "model home" and a "model" home.

Got a space you want to share with us? Send us the address and we'll be happy to come by!



Hey, Listen!
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"Out of My League" by Fitz and the Tantrums

They say you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. This is a somewhat flawed expression, as of course you are not able to miss if you never shoot. However, by refraining from taking a chance, you deprive yourself of the ability to succeed. So in spirit, it is essentially the same as missing.

That said, is missing so bad?

Opportunity is not a daily caller. Sure, sometimes you may find yourself in a place where more and more comes for you, but that does not mean this is a natural state of being. It would be unwise to take a potential boon for granted just because you came across another recently.

By ignoring a possibility, you open yourself up to regret.

This week's song is "Out of My League" by Fits and the Tantrums. It is a love letter of sorts to a perfect partner, someone that makes the singer swoon. Some say there is a perfect match for everyone out there, a soul mate. With the number of people on the planet and so many variables, it seems like a hard pill to swallow, but even so, songs like this give hope to the idea.

Even if it might not be mystical, who says we might not find that perfect love someday?

The poppy, upbeat tune is given a dream-like quality by the echoing vocals, a fitting choice for a song that insists the recipient is "more than just a dream." While not overly complex, there is a beauty in the simplicity. A catchy song that makes you smile is not lesser if it elicits an emotional reaction. Sometimes it can be nice to just feel good.

I think we all find ourselves wondering at points when something good will come our way. Often, I think we can be so worried about it, we might end up missing the chance just overthinking things. And while that can be helpful, it is important to remember that we also need to act, lest our choices be made for us. Time does not wait for anyone.

In my own life, I have let some things slip by, left wondering what I should have done. Making a move can be intimidating sometimes, but consider the alternative. Rejection can be frustrating, yes. You may not get a clear sense of why you did not succeed in your efforts. Still, it also provides opportunities. You get some closure, perhaps you will learn something so that next time you can improve your odds.

But if you never take the shot? Not only do you deprive yourself of any choice in an outcome, you also replace that opportunity with regret. So do not allow reservations to hold you back. Take a chance and score or miss in glory.


I haven't had ANY time to spend on my island this week, Eorzea, but that doesn't mean I can't dress for it! Gathering and crafting are my endgame, but spring is coming to an end and it's time to get a little tropical!

Here, I'm wearing a Pumpkin Orange Isle Vacationer's Visor (which ironically I forgot to actually have on for my main photos! Such is the life of a Viera!), along with a Nophica Green Isle Vacationer's Tie-Front Shirt, a pair of Isle Vacationer's Wrist Torques, and of course some Isle Vacationer's Shorts and Sandals.

I look like I'm either going to guide you through the queue of a fake theme park safari, or be your camp counselor for the summer! Fun! Maybe!

I'm also wearing a Red Triteleia Earring and Rainbow Sweet Pea Necklace for a hint of extra color. It adds a little bit of that tropical bonfire vibe!

The two accessories are likely cheap on your local market board, and the rest can easily be purchased at your Island Sanctury with Seafarer's Cowries, once you get things set up! I've also seen a new Island outfit floating around lately...maybe next issue!

Happy shopping, Eorzea! Stay cool!


Status of Goobbue In Lower La Noscea: Just trying to fit in!


Last Week At Nophica's

Wednesdays 8-11PM ET | 5-8PM PT

This week is our one year anniversary over at Nophica's Spring, so during our last show we performed a bunch of our older trios, along with trivia hosted by Lopp! It was a fun night with one or two newcomers (always exciting!), and as always we appreciate everyone who joined us!

Congrats to last week's trivia winners!

Rank Contestant Homeworld
1st Te'leon Zantok Jenova
2nd Moonflower Hyskaris Jenova
3rd Satallizer Bridget Jenova

We hope you'll join us this Wednesday, May 31, for our One Year celebration! We've already finished a fun (but not too extreme!) venue redesign, and we have one or two special surprises for the night's guests!

We'll also announce the winner of this month's Trivia Leaderboard!



Weekly

Chappy's Nightmare Maze

"We live inside a dream..." - Anonymous

Weekly

Crossword #28


Weekly

Sudoku #28

Chappy's Weekly Sudoku Nightmare
8 6 5
3 1 9
5 2 1 9 4
7 8 4 6
4 7 6 8
1 3 6 4 8
7 2 1
7 5 3

A worldwide celebration

Gathering Week On Hydaelyn

by Babbit Alaisa

It's been a hectic week on Hydaelyn, especially if you're a botanist, miner, or even a fisher. You may have noticed the massive armies of gatherers roaming around, chopping up bushes and beating the heck out of giant rocks. And guess what? I was one of them!

When I wasn't out gathering...

This Is How I Spent My Week

That spot. I only left to gather! I promise I'm not crazy!

Anyway, here are some other photos I took while out on my gathering adventures. There's still a ton of gil to be made, Eorzea, whether you're a crafter or gatherer or just someone who likes to play the market board. In some cases, prices on materials continue to climb, though it's really an ebb and flow.

Find your niche and make all the gil! Good luck!


May 29 - June 4

How to Read Your Sign:
Future Forecasts are based on your nameday, specifically the number of your Astral or Umbral moon. For example, if your nameday falls under the 4th Umbral Moon, your guardian sign is Rhalgr. This very likely will differ from your chosen guardian!

Future Forecast Features:
Lucky Numbers and Elemental Fortunes. Lucky numbers are just that: Lucky! Meanwhile, each sign is governed by the elements, though their effects can be random and unpredictable. Consider how your sign's element may guide you throughout the week!

Halone (1st Astral Moon)
Get ready for some steady beats this week, as your current path finds you taking slow but consistent steps toward your goals. Brace yourself for a good dream possibly coming true!
This Week's Lucky Number: 17
Elemental Fortune: Soft Lightning
Menphina (1st Umbral Moon)
You may be in for some rough weather in the coming days, but how this affects you is entirely up to you! Follow your intuition down paths you wouldn't normally walk, and you might find a quick way out of your current situation!
This Week's Lucky Number: 9
Elemental Fortune: Horrible Lightning
Thaliak (2nd Astral Moon)
It may feel like dark clouds are gathering this week, but try not to let ominous signs distract you, and instead focus on those things you can control. Romance is in the air, but it might not involve the person you expect!
This Week's Lucky Number: 2
Elemental Fortune: Wrathful Water
Nymeia (2nd Umbral Moon)
Things may come easy for you this week, as certain obstacles will seem to melt away. Work together with your closest friends to accomplish some tough goals, and look forward to time spent just hanging out by the weekend!
This Week's Lucky Number: 11
Elemental Fortune: Amazing Ice
Llymlaen (3rd Astral Moon)
Not everything bad affects you, and sometimes standing at a safe distance and just watching it all can teach you lessons without your having to actually get involved. Take this week to observe, and get ready for a month of hard work and fun!
This Week's Lucky Number: 2
Elemental Fortune: Gorgeous Lightning
Oschon (3rd Umbral Moon)
This week should be a good one for those born under Oschon. The coming weeks will feel downright comfortable, as we move into summer and things begin to have an aura of optimism. This is a good time for positive change!
This Week's Lucky Number: 20
Elemental Fortune: Perfect Ice
Byregot (4th Astral Moon)
Beware of setbacks this week, and do your best to keep you feet steady. Recent new connections could pay off, and this is a good time for learning new things, despite a bit of laziness creeping in. Just keep going!
This Week's Lucky Number: 9
Elemental Fortune: Shaky Ice
Rhalgr (4th Umbral Moon)
Last week was a pretty active one, and this week will be no different. You should feel motivated to keep working and building up, as now is the perfect time to really throw your current projects into overdrive. Romantic dreams might put you into a good mood, so try to make those a reality!
This Week's Lucky Number: 11
Elemental Fortune: Bustling Lightning
Azeyma (5th Astral Moon)
Certain worries may cause you to lose focus this week. Try switching your attention to something fun instead, even if that means shirking responsibilities. They can wait, probably! Don't be afraid to share something you shouldn't, as well!
This Week's Lucky Number: 15
Elemental Fortune: Anxious Ice
Nald'thal (5th Umbral Moon)
You may feel some unsettling vibrations this week, but so long as you keep moving, things should be okay. Look for opportunities to network and meet new people, as connections should come easier at the moment!
This Week's Lucky Number: 14
Elemental Fortune: Stormy Earth
Nophica (6th Astral Moon)
You may find that things you used to care about are fading into background noise lately. Should you try to rekindle that flame, or let the past go and try something new? Only you can decide! Consult your friends and see what they have to say!
This Week's Lucky Number: 2
Elemental Fortune: Faint Fire
Althyk (6th Umbral Moon)
Keep gil handy this week, as you may stumble upon something you've been looking for at a good price. Be wary of some possible drama near the weekend. It may be better to channel negative emotions into creative outlets rather than speak your mind too plainly!
This Week's Lucky Number: 16
Elemental Fortune: Tough Ice
Secrets Lie in the Aether
This Week's Overall Lucky Number: 2
This Week's Elemental Fortune: Powerful Ice
Future Forecasts are sponsored by the EMET-SELCH Paranormal Museum. Stop by during open hours at J???e??????n??"???o??_?v?¨??a???? ???????-?????? ?¨???E?°???m????p?????_y???´??r????e???u??°??m?´? ????-??? ???W?????a?^??¸?r??°???d?????? ?????3???????8?¨????1?´????9??? ?????P?????l?`???o???t??? ?¯???2????5?????3?´?6???,???~??? ?¨??¸?S?~??u?????i?`´???t???e???? ??????0?¯????0?????_?7?¯~????

- Babbler Ombudsman & Venue PR Officer -

Krevin's Desk

Krevin Krevinson VII, Tunaologist, PhD

Everyone's off gathering and adventuring, and I'm stuck here staring at tuna all day. Are there any other fish? I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I'd just said No and instead went to florist school like I wanted to. Well, that's just how it goes.


Issue 27, dated May 22, 2023. The errors were as follows:

  • Slight issue involving the cover, but I don't know anything about that.

Nophica's Spring & The Babbler Operational Assessment for Wednesday, May 24 to Sunday, May 28, 2023:

  • I hear they're celebrating their one year anniversary this week. I've been here from the beginning, but time works differently in the Tuna Department. It feels like it's been ten years...

If you have any questions or comments, or if you notice errors, please reach out. Have a nice day.

- The Krev


Don't Miss!

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